drowning in my emotions, with the scribble of a pen.

 

These bones of mine rest easier with yours

so just wait the night out and fill the

empty space in my bed until morning.

I am not asking for the moon,

only to lay underneath it with you

and wish on exploding stars that

our hearts will burst, too.

Maybe this is a shout into the void

to someone who dreams of other girls

but I hope the feel of my body

wrapped in your tired arms

is enough to make you see

someone else behind your eyelids.

The sight of you in my head

most nights has haunted me

but for the first time,

you could be the big spoon to my little

instead of splitting like a knife.

If I said you’re nobody, would you hold it against me?
You know you should.
I knew you would.

If I said you’re nobody, would you hold it against me?

You know you should.

I knew you would.

Do not come near me.

I will the suck the life from your lungs

and kiss your lips until they turn blue,

leaving you gasping on the floor

while the door shuts behind me.

I will not look back

or think about how you fared.

There are other nights of meaningless company,

other boys to pass time before I run again.

I could lead each one over the edge

and hear them curse to god

for the damage I wreak to them,

or watch them cage their hearts

before I squeeze too tight.

These hands are meant for destruction

and I do not know how to hold on

without crushing what is in my palms.

Stay away before I grab you

and rip your world to pieces.

Creep up from behind me

and whisper in my ear.

Admit the heinous truths

that I never wished to hear.

Tell me I am filthy

and unworthy of your time.

Let me feel the brunt

of my apathetic crime.

I hope you tear the heart

out of this battered chest

and rip it to shreds before

my body falls to rest.

I hurt no one around me

but deal the damage to my head,

and when the bomb detonates inside me,

it fuels the misery I have bled.

I can never free my soul

when it is weighed down with the pain

of self-destructive actions

that drove me to go insane.

You watched me take a knife

and twist my stomach into knots.

You are the angel dressed in black,

the demon of my thoughts.

You have cuts on your heart

that I could never mend

because time and bad company

have left them unsealed.

The people who should have

given you the world

broke it in front of your eyes,

expecting you to put the pieces

back together and move on.

They pushed your head to its limit

with hopeless thoughts,

and while you dug your grave

and threw your body in,

they took their shovels and

covered you up.

All that is left from the past

is a ghost of a boy

with a family who haunts him without reprieve.

I want you to know that if this world

swallows me whole and leaves

nothing but my bones and skull

for you to mourn over,

you were the one damn thing

I held close enough to my heart

for it to nearly burst through my chest,

and the amount of fights we had

that left me clinging to my sheets

with clenched fists and sore knuckles

were worth more to me than

what I was ever given in good times

from people I knew before you.

What I am trying to say is that

I would go to war for a face like yours

to wake up next to at 4 a.m when

my dreams are unsettling,

to kiss when my lips need a face for kissing,

and to hold when my hands are empty

but need someone to fill the spaces.

My life will end and I will never know it,

but I hope you still keep the thought of me alive

because I would give the rest of my existence

to make you feel the way about me that I do

when you are twisted with my body

and wrapped up in my eyes.

stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can

My best is worst overall

but I have to take it anyways,

and my short days are still long

but I have to wake up anyways.

I inhale and exhale even when

I do not want to make the effort,

and if someone believes that

I still have a purpose after

I feel the lethargy close in,

then so be it

but I will take a back seat

to this thing we call ‘life’

and hope the person driving

knows what the hell is going on

because I haven’t the slightest idea.

We are driving in the wrong direction

or at least that is what I am told,

and I do not feel the urge to

shout that we are headed toward

disaster and cannot turn around.

I look at you and cannot catch my breath.

The moonlight strikes your face

in such a way that no one could seem

as beautiful as you in this moment.

My hands ache for your skin,

just to prove that you are real

and not a figment of my ideal imaginations.

Your eyes mirror depths to which

I do not know how to dive

but the sight of you in front of me

is enough to make me try,

even if it kills me in the end.

I would die happier after a moment

of exposure to your affections

than after a lifetime without it

but you would not look at me

in the way I see you now,

because your beauty is of the

rarest kind and I am quite

unlovely under the night sky.

tagged by lostseasons 
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tagged by lostseasons 

1. Name 2. url 3. Blog name 4. Crush 5. Favorite color 6. Write in caps 7. Favorite bands 8. Favorite number 9. Favorite drink 10. Tag people